Seeking god

Here at the Contemplative Underground and at The Benedictine Way we celebrated the feast of Saint Anthony of the Desert this week (also known as St. Anthony of Egypt and St. Anthony the Great). We consider Anthony to be the grandfather of monasticism and of the contemplative life. In many ways it is from his inspiration that St. Benedict, who founded what became known as Benedictine monasticism, begins to formulate what it means to be a Christian monk in the western world.

So for anyone interested in the contemplative life, Anthony is a big deal. He was one of the very first of the desert fathers and spent a very long life seeking God. This is the goal of any contemplative, and while we all act that out in somewhat different ways, it is, in fact, our common vocation.

You may be asking yourself what it means to seek God, and that’s a very good question to ask yourself. I suppose I do that almost every day in one way or another. People who are interested in the contemplative life will often ask me questions like: To have a vocation of seeking God do I need to go to a desert? Must I become a monastic? What about fleeing the world?

Before I can even answer, these same people often will put up their objections: But I have kids! I might want to get married some day! I’m too young! I’m too old! I really love my career! And then there’s the near universal objection: I don’t have time!!

The truth is that you can have relationships, careers, kids, live alone, live with family, travel a great deal, be a homebody. You can be introverted, you can be extroverted. You can know a great deal about theology and scripture, or very little at all.

The truth is also that you do have to make time. Like any goal for life, seeking God is one which requires effort and time. But I can promise you, it’s worth it.

Early in my own monastic journey, I would question how I could ever live up to the St. Anthonys or the St. Benedicts of the tradition. There would be the wrestling with the “imposter syndrome” of “you’re not a real monk – you still listen to pop music!”

But over time, I slowly discovered that to seek God always began with simply allowing myself to be available to God. To open myself up to the possibility of God. The possibility that God really did exist. The possibility that God loved humanity. The possibility that God was near.

Seeking God is, at least to begin with, making yourself available. Opening up to meditating or praying – even if just for a minute or two. Any availability on your part is an opportunity for God to find you. That’s the nature of a contemplative life – it is lived in the mutuality of faithfulness between you and God. You seek – God finds.

One of the great lessons of St. Anthony’s life was that faithfulness, that seeking of God, is best lived in the context of community. But that’s for the next blog…

Come join us on one of our Centering Prayer Sits. We would sure love to have you.

Peace be upon you,

Br. James